This is an year of 2015.And I am feeling like a child again. Feeling like some one has rotated back the time machine and I have been thrownback into the past .Life is full of surprises, Yes it is. And if I say about my life then it fully apts in mine case too. I am living away from my home since 2005, for my studies and now I’ am in job. But this year I came to my home place and will be here for one full month.

Every day I feel so much pampered by my parents. I run for my office and my mother runs after me carrying my lunch box and bottle. My father comes along with me to drop me to the bus stand, Everyday! I feel that time machine has rotated back and those childhood memories have rejunavated. These happiness which I always miss when I am away from my home.

This is what I define my life as perfect for these few awesome days. Even if I have small money, I feel myself as richest. I feel myself real. I feel happy. Even if I am horrified of that loneliness of my far way house, I am enjoying these days. Every evening when I am back to my home, their eyes eagerly waits for my footprints. That’s the language of happiness, and I am becoming used to it. But sometimes, I am afraid of the apparition of the thoughts, what I would do when I will be far away from home again. But hoping that this is my home and I can happen here whenever I want to be. I have always mused of such evenings when I would be making chit chats , with my mother, cuddling her,  photographing her.  

I am writing all these because I want to write, and  I must write as I want to tell you that loving our parents is the most beautiful feeling. beautifully connect yourself with them. They are the life blood. And yes! Because of them we are what we are!

Inescapable Sufferings

From last three days, I was getting irrated on my maid while washing my dirty dishes, as my maid was not coming and also had stopped responding to hundreds of my phone calls. I was so astonished as well as irate on her for this irresponsibility. Even in the corner of my head I precisely have prepared to cut her salary this time. No work no pay( Though I have given this warning for so many times).

After three continuous days, I saw her entering into my room with pale and dull face. I thought this was might be her new drama, as she was very smart in dramatizing her defense and apparently very well versed speech of her faux sufferings, but she was different this time. Parveen, my maid, barely 20 yr old girl was unconscious of everything,she started her daily routine work, without saying a word. I was completely amazed on her attitude that was actually not usual of her.

Sometimes later, I spoke to her, asking  for paratha and sabjee, though I tried to show that I am very angry and don’t want to ask her why she was not coming. She started taking her bites I asked her slowly for why she was not coming. Suddenly she broke away saying, “Baji, Shadi kabhi na karna”. At the same instant I guessed something had went wrong with her husband. I started digging her why, what had happened, why saying like this? She cried and didn’t stop unless I shouted on her for the actual reason.

I found a similar story of home violence. Drunken husband had beaten up her, throttled her neck, and punched on to her stomach. Parveen, carrying baby inside her womb of 4 month. And all this had happened only because of money. Merely for 100 rupee, not that big amount as her husband earns 8000 per month. Her husband has an affair with some other lady and spends his income either on her or on addiction. She cannot let him go as this was her second marriage. First marriage was a failure and more than a disaster, she eloped away from her in laws home. That’s why she had to stay with her second husband anyhow. Have to fulfill his desire be it for money or physical. For her there is no window for passage to the world of happiness since she has to live in this same cruel world where woman are still treated as a substance.

 They work in other houses as maid servants, earning 3000-4000 and feeding nearly about 5-6 members of their family. This story does not belong inherently of single Parveen, but actually of hundreds of woman, who speaks about their impoverished, cold and bloodless pain and mental trauma, which they undergo every single day. Living under the shadow of such brutal violence surrounded inside the walls of their huts can easily sabotage a life. These poor woman suffer such kind of pain every day and every night for fulfilling their male partners desires. For these poor girls, life is a cage from where they neither can escape from nor can they live with a smile.

 Can my article on this will make any change to Parveen’s life? Is it possible to describe the actual pain in words of these young girls? Answer is simple a big NO. But its not NEVER, we as a writer can make alive these tiny yet big issues on women sufferings. Suffering of a poor girl, or be it a pain of richest, Overall it is a suffering of a woman. And that’s the root of my article and so, I am here to tell loudly the story through my words.

To my mentor,"Pervez Ahmed sir"

They say chords of my guitar are broken, will not sing anymore,

They say no life will grow for characters of those endless stories, as before

They say it wouldn't yield anything, how loud my words will scream as remorseful beggar,

They say that someone from heaven came and has robbed the soul of my story teller,

They say voice is now mute for all, which we heard till longing yesterdays,

An arena that was once crowded with various senseless and sensible brains,

You were like a solid brick wall,  that always made honesty to

They say my words will never color beauty to tales, lost its potency,

But my words promise to bring you back every day, in your supremacy,

Though we are not standing on the same earth, our worlds are apart,

Yet thoughts have crossed the border, and I see you other side, apart

They say you have left the world, But a silent belief holds the crown of your inspiration,

They say I will never see your physical existence, but will stone erecting at each success station,

As long as this world exists, endurance to our spirit lives,

You will remain alive in every success,

And assuredly in every aftermath celebrations.

And, only thing I wanted to say!!

I Love you, Didi,

The first line I would write is “You are the most beautiful sister in the Universe”. I never say, or never have expressed this before you, but yes you are “The Best”. But today, I want you to know how much I love you.

I bickered, made mistakes, my heedless heart. I was completely blasé of your precious love, never thought of getting separated .Now I realize and sense the heartbeats of all those small instants. I would not find you when I would be visiting home during festivals and holidays, no one will be there with whom I would fight. I would be weeping silently on the bedside, keeping my pillow over my face. Might be trying to hide my tears from ma, but I know that all will get evaporated whence I see you smiling! And, keeping your smile in my prayers I would ask God to maintain this throughout the life.

 Today when I look in the mirror, I find both of us alike. Everything right from the roots, sharing the same womb, resemblance with the same mother. Our mother bequeathed us a love frame where we kept all the memories and pictures. I am always elated when we walk together and people appreciated us. You brought so much wonder in my life, love, affection, tenderness, so much beauty.

I never have felt the absence of brother, because I am blessed with such a doting sister. Today, I want my affection reach out to you and my love speaks up to you loudly and accepts its love for you!

Love you my darling sister!!

Untill

Until you are not filled with immense happiness for others,

Until you have never got the chance to say your choicest words,

Until your eyes have never touched the shores of imagination,

Until you haven’t heard the sheepish celestial conversations,

Until you haven’t tasted discoveries of  observations,

Until you haven’t nurtured a hope into the empty world of an orphan,

Until you haven’t accepted your love to your loved ones

I would keep asking you again and again,

And, until your head didn’t realize these words,

In between, you judge the complete feeling!

Finding a reason for not making beautiful life worth living!!

I love you, Papa!!

On your birthday,

I want to say thank you likewise every year I say,

For telling me the stories

For learning me the capitals and rivers

For letting me to choose my own path of life,

For correcting me at every wrong step when I took,

For helping me to know difficulties-in extreme,

Every time you added an extra confidence by standing behind me, unknowingly,

For playing with me in evening when I would have no friends to play,

For guiding me, being my lantern, to discover the mundane way,

For putting courage to fight when I am stuck-in to tricks of cruel world,

Because of you Papa (and mummy), special star(s) in my life,

And my Universe becomes impeccably exquisite!!

Yours loving daughter :-)

Will you dance with me?

Friend! I know I miss the rhythm, I miss the steps,

I know I am no expert, I am too naive,

But you know, I try harder every time,

Please make me flawless like your style.

So, will you dance with me?

Beautiful things are why so much complicated?

But I know you will make it simple for me, benevolent conversion.

Netting the fingers into each other, make me to groove

Will you make mine also remarkable like your move?

Hold on, please answer me quick.

Rhythm is the only thing that I understand,

Of an amateur poetry, contemporary dance or an ancient music,

Help me to match the tunes of this wishful heart,

Help me to catch the glimpse of colorful rainbow of my wishes,

Remember friend, for this you once promised me,

Remembering your promise words, come dance with me?

Perfection is the state of art, and you are perfect in my eyes,

So, will you hold my hand and make me to sense the dance?

Answer me!

I am impatient!

Will you dance with me??

2:58 PM, Wednesday

2013